Mind of a Murderer
by SesshLG
Summary: What was going on in Sev's mind during the final HBP scene. NOT a continuation. Slight SSHG, and no flames, please! sniff
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Harry Potter, or anything like it. T-T**

_SesshLG: Okay, I'm going to warn you here and now-there are a lot of direct quotes from the book, especially in chapter 3. So don't sue me!_

_Ron: Reads over story WTF? My name's mentioned, like, once or twice in the whole thing!_

_Severus: This isn't about you anyway; it focuses on me._

_Ron: cries_

_SesshLG:...anyways...let's start the story..._

**Chapter 1**

They were coming.

I raised my head from the desk that I had worked at, known, for so long, my sensitive ears picking up the sounds that were coming in muffled voices from the floors below. My eyes saw almost nothing-it was a dark night.

_BAM!_

I stood up quickly as the door reached the wall with a warning thud. The Charms professor-Filius Flitwick-flew into my office, gasping for air. I kept my normal façade as he squeaked to me, "Severus! Come with me…help us, please…there are death eaters attacking Hogwarts!"

'_Forgive me, Filius.'_

"Sev…Severus, please. Minerva asked-"

'_STUPEFY!'_

I watched solemnly as my colleague hit the floor, unconscious. 'But,' I reasoned with myself, 'it's better this way.'

Sidestepping the dwarfish body, I swept out of my office, only to confront the young Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood.

Luna Lovegood had always seemed…odd, to say the least. But there was a deep intelligence behind that face that few could see.

Miss Hermione Granger. The know-it-all that all teachers adored, myself included, I must admit grudgingly. She was no teacher's pet, not like the young Mr. Malfoy, just determined and willing to share. A muggle-born and a Gryffindor-that should by itself make me refuse to stand her presence.

And it does.

Yet, I cannot resist caring for her.

But such a brilliant mind, and a determination not unlike my own younger self, blinded by an infatuation for the youngest Weasley male is such a waste. I do hope she will make a better choice than him. Someone who could hold his own against her in an intellectual debate, not gossips of Quidditch.

It pains me to say that if I were about twenty years younger, I would not refuse a relationship with her. Pity she's not a Slytherin.

Brushing all out of my mind I said to the two young women with a feigned venom, "Professor Flitwick has collapsed. Instead of standing there like two nitwits, you should think about going in there and take care of him. I must go on the much more dire task of engaging in battle."

With that, I swept up the marble stairs. My billowing robes pointed to where my heart wished it could be, but my wand pointed to where I was fated.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Harry Potter, or anything like it. T-T**

_SesshLG: OMFG your reading the second chapter! _

_Ron: still crying_

_SesshLG: He's still not mentioned...shakes head_

**Chapter 2**

My eyes were met with curses bounding everywhere. The Hogwarts staff as well as the Order were losing the battle.

I watched as Malfoy exited the room. I hurried after him, passing by the young Weasley girl-pity she was dating Potter-and other members. I rushed past the Death Eaters, including the body of that idiot, Gibbon. As I went by, I also noticed the body of Bill Weasley on the ground, marked with unseemly wounds.

'Fenrir Greyback,' I thought gravely.

A curse escaped from my mouth as I met a barrier, but quickly got threw it, an unwanted thanks to the marred spot on my forearm. I could hear Longbottom groaning as he too tried to pass.

"_REDUCTO_!"

Cries attempting to break down the barrier, unsuccessful. I continued to ascend the stairs to my destination.

Right before bursting through the door, I heard the screeching voice of Alecto, "Draco, do it or stand aside so one of us-"

She silenced as I entered. My eyes observed the scene before me, the obsidian color in them turning even darker than ever thought possible. Dumbledore slumped against a wall, Malfoy, Greyback, Alecto, and her brother Amycus.

I stepped forward. The they stepped back.

"We've got a problem, Snape," Amycus said. "the boy doesn't seem able-"

"Severus…"

I heard the plead of Albus Dumbledore, but replied with nothing. I stepped forward a little more, pushing the others out of the way. My eyes fixed with Dumbledore's, which were no longer sparkling with the incessant twinkle I had become accustomed to, which was scary in itself.

"Severus, please."

The world was silent.

'_Severus, please…remember our agreement…_' I heard his voice.

'I remember it, but is there no other…'

I saw a smile that no one else could. '_Dear boy, my time has come. Do not be a coward, not now._"

A coward? This was the most courageous act I would ever have to commit.

My face became creased with hatred as I fueled up my final and most unwilling spell. I was in unspeakable pain as I cried-

"_AVADA KEDAVRA!"_


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Harry Potter, or anything like it. T-T**

_SesshLG: I'm just going to warn you, this is longer and full of direct quotes, so don't sue!_

_Ron: cries harder_

_SesshLG: What are you crying about? You're mentioned in this chapter see? points_

_Ron: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!_

_SesshLG: Here's a cookie hands cookie_

_Ron: munches cookie hey, this is poisoned! Gyah!_

_SesshLG: Severus?_

_Severus: whistling_

_SesshLG: I love you, so much! glomps_

**Chapter 3**

His lifeless body was suspended in mid-air, as if offering itself up to the heavens. It came back down slowly in a way that could be called forever. The physical body left my eye, but not my mind.

"Out of here, quickly," I said hoarsely.

I grabbed Malfoy by his collar and pushed him to the front, followed by the other three.

"_Petrificus Totalis!_"

Potter. He must have been hiding under his godforsaken invisibility cloak.

Our pace quickened, everything was a blur before my eyes. Fenrir had turned back to attack the Potter boy, only to be stupefied. Miss Weasley was doing a dangerous dance with Amycus, who was shooting off hexes everywhere, until he was stopped with a squeal after being hit by an _Impedimenta_ curse from Poter. Mr. Weasley, Minerva, Remus, and Tonks were all fighting separate battles.

"Snape, Malfoy…" came Mr. Longbottom's muffled voice from the floor as the two of us ran past. Some of the Hufflepuffs were climbing from their portrait hole. The Gryffindor hourglass lay shattered.

Our faces were suddenly whipped by the night air as we made our way to the gates across the grounds. I heard shouts from Potter as the brother and sister Death Eaters tried to overtake him again.

"_Stupefy!_" A red jet of light barely missed me.

"Run Draco!" I told him firmly, stopping and turning to face Potter.

"_Cruc-_"

I blocked it easily, but my attention was diverted to a blast of flames and bursts-Hagrid's cabin on fire.

"Fang's in there, yer evil-!" shouted Hagrid.

"_Cruc-_" Potter tried again, only to be shielded away.

"No Unforgivable Curses from you, Potter!" I yelled. "You haven't got the nerve or the ability-"

"_Incarc-_" Blocked. "Fight back, you cowardly-"

"Coward, did you call me, Potter? Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?" I ground my teeth, recalling the memories that made my life miserable. He tried another curse. "Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep you mouth shut and you mind closed, Potter!"

Yes, I was teaching him, outside of class. Just because I was running with evil now, doesn't mean that I don't hope for good to conquer all.

I yelled for the others to follow, but then I heard a scream of pain escape from the boy. _Cruciatous _curse, no doubt.

"No! Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord-we are to leave him! Go! Go!" Thankfully, the brother and sister took the excuse and began running for the gate.

"_Sectum-_"

As I reflected it, my emotions went out of control. How dare he?

I heard him think, '_Levi-_'

"No, Potter!" I roared as I sent him flying backwards with a jinx. "You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them-I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so…no!"

I watched with sick satisfaction as realization dawned on the sixteen year old's face, and then snarled as he dived for his wand. I hexed it so that it flew out of his reach.

"Kill me then. Kill me like you killed him, you coward-"

"DON'T-" I shouted in inhuman rage. Pain burned inside me, pain that no one else knew save for the now deceased Dumbledore. "CALL ME COWARD!"

I shot a spell at him, not waiting to see Potter fly across the yard, near unconscious, before turning back to the gate. My path was momentarily blocked as that hippogriff, once known as Buckbeak, attacked me.

"Filthy animal!" I hissed as one of his claws swiped me.

I ran, knowing that no single wizard like myself could properly take care of the uncontrollably beast. As hard as I could, my feet swept and carried me across…

And then, I Dissapparated.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Harry Potter, or anything like it. T-T**

_SesshLG: OKAY! FINAL CHAPTER!_

_Ron: Finally. Gets smacked_

_SesshLG: It's not very important, it's just short and sweet._

**Chapter Four**

As I disappeared into nothingness, I remember thinking.

I was praying for the safety of the staff, the Order, the students, and others. Especially Potter and Granger.

I was regretting the fact that I ever joined the Death Eaters-it made me a monster, and I had to go so far as to killing Dumbledore, the only man who still felt like family to me.

I was hoping that Potter could take on the Dark Lord. Hopefully, my last minute…teaching inspired enough feeling for him to really prepare himself.

I was wishing that I had never given information about the prophecy to the Dark Lord, for I never truly wanted Potter sr. or his sweet wife Lily to be killed mercilessly.

I was brewing a new hatred for the Dark Lord.

I was realizing that I would be the most despised man next to the Dark Lord.

I was enclosed by feelings of sadness, for no one would ever know what was really going on in this murderer's mind.


End file.
